


Play Date

by orphan_account



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Metaphors, One Night Stands, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5108720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was so naïve to believe that, after one night of sex, Hikaru would jump into his arms. That Hikaru would declare his love in the morning, with a light pink blush. That they’d wake up, and stay in bed till noon, with Tamaki’s thumbs rubbing Hikaru’s back softly. That his hands would caress Hikaru’s thighs like he’d always dreamed. Hikaru would press sweet kisses to his neck, his lips rough against Tamaki’s neck. His mouth would curl into a frown, after seeing the lack of marks adorning Tamaki’s neck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Play Date

**Author's Note:**

> mentions of tamakao, kyokao

“He really likes you, y’know?” Hikaru stated, his eyes focused on trying to pull his jeans over his thighs. He wasn’t even trying to conceal the fact that he was trying to change the subject. It was so painfully obvious, that it felt like a slap to the face to Tamaki.

He really thought there was something. That this was something to Hikaru. That it meant something to the both of them.

He was so naïve to believe that, after one night of sex, Hikaru would jump into his arms. That Hikaru would declare his love in the morning, with a light pink blush. That they’d wake up, and stay in bed till noon, with Tamaki’s thumbs rubbing Hikaru’s back softly. That his hands would caress Hikaru’s thighs like he’d always dreamed. Hikaru would press sweet kisses to his neck, his lips rough against Tamaki’s neck. His mouth would curl into a frown, after seeing the lack of marks adorning Tamaki’s neck.

Tamaki was so fucking naïve. He hated it.

He felt tears prick in his eyes, his teeth biting at his lips lightly. His stomach pooled in a way that wasn’t unfamiliar. It felt like the countless other times Tamaki had witnessed Hikaru flirting with women and men alike. Only this time, it didn’t feel like a tug. It felt like a thousand tonnes weighing his whole body down to the floor. As well as the crippling voice in his head telling him how stupid he was for believing it for one second.

“Yeah, Kyoya told me. It was strange, finding Kyoya at my doorstep at eight o’clock with the coldest look I’ve seen yet,” Tamaki told him, his voice fighting to be strong. He knocked his head back to the headboard of the bed, a chuckle escaping his mouth. The noise was coarse, and unlike the usual energetic bursts of high-pitched giggles. Though to be fair, it was always Tamaki everyone was laughing at anyway.

“I’m so glad Kao likes you. You’re much better than that cold hearted bastard,” Hikaru admitted, shooting arrows into Tamaki’s heart. The words ringing through his ears like a bell. He was a good person, an ideal person for Kaoru. Hikaru had thought about Tamaki dating Kaoru, had even recommended it. Yet, no signs of jealousy flashed across his face. His expression staying happy and light hearted.

Hikaru felt nothing romantic towards Tamaki, and for the first time, it was completely clear. It was a whole new clarity, a whole new shard of glass that Tamaki had pushed out of his mind. His thoughts always wandered back to it, pushing defence cases into it, trying to turn it into a solid colour. Trying to make the possibility inexistent.

“Kyoya’s not that bad,” Tamaki reasoned, taking a deep breath in the middle of his speech, trying to keep his voice even. His mouth curled into a fake smile, every other aspect of his face giving away the pain. His eyes half-closed, water around the rims of his bottom lashes. Tamaki’s nose folded in on itself slightly, trying desperately to keep his eyes both closed and open.

“Kaoru’s already got a shitty brother, he doesn’t need a shitty boyfriend as well,” Hikaru replied, his leg extending outwards to make the laces of his boots as tight as possible. His face turned back to Tamaki at the other end of the bed, his face not even faulting at the sight of Tamaki’s.

A single tear rolled down Tamaki’s cheek, his hands stuck to his sides, refusing to wipe the tear away. His nose sniffled as more tears came, his hands still stuck to his sides. His eyebrows slanted in the centre, trying to stay put and remain strong.

But Tamaki was so done with that shit. He was done with pretending and trying to keep it discreet. Look where it fucking got him, crying in his own bed, still wanting someone he couldn’t have. He was done with refusing the pull on his heart, trying to pretend it wasn’t there. Trying to pretend that he didn’t know where this was going. Trying to pretend that he didn’t know Hikaru didn’t give a shit about him.

“What do you mean? You’re an amazing brother,” Tamaki stumbled through his words, his chin dripping with tears. His words true and meaningful, though his voice laced with hurt. Hikaru’s face still rock solid, as if he knew it all along.

It wasn’t even discreet after everything Tamaki had tried to hide. He tried to stop the sneaking looks at Hikaru’s eyes, and his skin (which he noticed, was a shade darker than Kaoru’s). He tried so hard to keep his face neutral, Hikaru would flirt his way into clubs and bars with a smirk, his hands too close to the person’s waist, his face to close to the others. He tried to keep his hands steady when Hikaru was around, Hikaru’s thighs touching his on his sofa, when there was plenty of room for more than two. He tried so hard, yet still, Hikaru had sussed it out. It all seemed to click in a strange way that every remotely flirtatious thing Hikaru done was on purpose.

It seemed so stupid now, that Tamaki had actually believed Hikaru hadn’t done it all to spite him. He actually believed Hikaru was oblivious to it all. Oblivious to every single romantic gesture he’d gave him. But, now Tamaki saw, it was all a game.

All the Hitachiin’s knew were games. Games that hurt people, games that ruined people. It was like a puzzle piece that finally fit together perfectly. To knock him down on the floor and laugh in his face. To embarrass him and humiliate him to everything he values in life.

To break Tamaki, to break Hikaru’s toy. To chuck the used toy to the back of the wardrobe, forgotten and replaced with a prettier and stronger model. Other toys crawling across the used and wreck materials, ripping what was left of the toy, like the hurt racking in his bones. To then, in a couple weeks/months/years, come back to the wrecked toy in the back of the wardrobe and sow it back up. Care for it again, show it love again and play with it again. To break it again and throw it back into the wardrobe. Tamaki knew the vicious cycle before it had had one run.

“Don’t feed me that bullshit. We both know I’m a horrible person. I mean, look at what I’ve done? I’ve slept with my brother’s crush, who has a thing for me, on the basis that he’s hot. That’s a pretty shitty thing to do. Two birds with one stone and all that,” Hikaru rambled, his eyes flashing with guilt before turning back into his bored expression. He sighed heavily before peeling his gaze from Tamaki and looking to the ground. His elbows rested on his thighs and hands in his hair.

“You’re right. You’re a heartless bastard,” Tamaki admitted, gasping for air as the tears ran frantically down his face and his mouth hiccupped. His hand clutched his chest roughly, his breath getting quicker and the air getting trapped in his throat.

He wailed loudly as Hikaru approached him with a genuine smile, Tamaki’s mind screaming ‘pity’ over and over again. His mind reminding him senselessly how Hikaru didn’t feel an ounce of love for him. His chest constricting harshly, the air failing to travel to his lungs.

Arms wrapped around Tamaki’s body strictly, the pushes and shoves from Tamaki ignored. The movements of Tamaki’s hands clumsily from the numbing pain in his stomach. Hikaru rested his head on Tamaki’s shoulder, his thumbs rubbing at his shoulder blades softly.

Tamaki chocked loudly, the voice straggling to Hikaru’s ears. This was not what Tamaki imagined when he wanted to ‘snuggle’ with Hikaru until noon. It almost seemed criminal and wrong. The way his arms wrapped around Tama out of pity. It was horrible and suffocating. Nothing like the warmth and security he thought it would be.

“I’m sorry Tamaki. I thought, if I did this, you could get over me. I thought you’d be okay after we’d…” Hikaru started before shaking his head in fault, realising his wrong doings. It was as if it was a hit to his head, knowledge literally slapping him in the face. Mountains of guilt pooling in his stomach as his mind imagined all of the horrible consequences.

“You f-fucking-“Tamaki started, his arms wrapping around Hikaru lightly, almost as if he clinging onto the possibility of Hikaru. As if Hikaru was a ghost that would disappear once you’d let go. Tamaki still wasn’t willing to let go.

“I know, you don’t need to,” Hikaru butted in, his voice trailing on before finishing his point, his voice drained in the hiccups of Tamaki’s voice. Hikaru’s eyes watering themselves, though not willing to show Tamaki that.

* * *

 

 Tamaki stayed in Hikaru’s arms long after they’d stopped crying, Hikaru’s arms also unwillingly to let go. Tamaki’s arms had soon pulled Hikaru’s head to his chest, his chin resting on Hikaru’s head. It wasn’t uncomfortable, not like you’d guess. It was calming in way that neither had had with each other before. It was completely silent, but in a soft silence. The lack of noise a comfort that Tamaki had never guessed.

His mouth always ran, trying to keep the silence from attacking the ease in his life. He’d always fought it, since he was a boy. He always hated the silence, trying to break it constantly. It was always like a warrior to Tamaki, trying to pierce his heart.

Though now, she felt more like a guardian. Holding them both close like a mother, healing them of their wounds like a mother would. A messenger of sorts, telling the other what they thought in a way that was foreign to Tamaki. He’d never had secret languages or looks to distinguish thoughts like Hikaru had. He never needed to.

Though, with the soothing feeling flowing in his body, he could definitely feel the hype about it. He could definitely see how the twins stayed in their world for so long. He’d still prefer his way of living, it was brighter and full of potential. Even the twins grew bored of their own world.

“You should be more discreet when you like someone, Boss,” Hikaru mumbled, the old nickname rolling off his tongue out of habit. Kaoru had switched to Tamaki, occasionally ‘Tama’. But Hikaru stuck with ‘Boss’, the habit too hard to give up.

Hikaru also found it too hard or Tamaki, to hear his name roll of Hikaru’s tongue. As well as the guilt that would pool in his stomach if he’d started to call him ‘Tamaki’. He didn’t want to think about the pink face which would appear on Tamaki’s face. It’d kill him with guilt.

“What do you mean?” Tamaki squealed, pushing Hikaru’s shoulders backwards to see a wide smirk. Tamakis’ face turned pink at the accusation, his mouth cruelled into an embarrassed smile.

“Come on, you were so obvious about it, even Haruhi got embarrassed with your ‘discreet’ actions,” Hikaru taunted, his eyebrows turned upwards funnily and his bottom lip sitting on top of his upper lip. Tamaki’s arms fell from Hikaru’s shoulders with a pout before crossing at his own chest.

Hikaru would always be Hikaru, and somehow, that was an incredibly attractive factor. Tamaki didn’t understand it, but what was there to understand when it came to love? Absolutely nothing, the only thing Tamaki could understand was that it hurt like a bitch.

“Would you, ever in the far future, date me? Or someone like me?”

“Yeah, I would.”

**Author's Note:**

> based heavily on the song Play-Date by Melanie Martinez


End file.
